The Freedom Specialist - Interview with Bob Gardner

welcome back to another episode of Christian Natural Health today I am pleased to have Bob Gardner with us Bob

is the founder of the freedom specialist a body based approach to happiness health and and well-being Bob is also

the author of the book built for freedom and host of the podcast alive and Free as a transformational specialist Bob's

aim is to share his unique tools with the world to empower everyone to find happiness health and well-being on

autopilot for the past 15 years Bob has been incorporating multiple tools and knowledge gained from his years of

experience in martial arts breath work functional psychology deep tissue release and numerous other healing

modalities to help thousands of people permanently put an end to their depression anxiety and addiction by

identifying and healing what's at the core of these issues welcome Bob thanks so much for joining us my pleasure

Lauren this sounds exciting should be fun I am excited for sure so tell us your backstory what got you into this I

messed everything up and had to find dig my way out of the hole okay my uh I had been since I was like

okay like any kid you know you grow up socially awkward whatever my dad was a fighter pilot so we moved around a lot

and I just frequently felt like I was you didn't belong I was The Outsider anything that any normal kid would have

I didn't have a traumatic childhood or anything but somewhere along the way I went through puberty and I had questions

about sexuality and my dad was really awkward with those questions he told me that a condom was an emergency water bag

which when I found out the real answer I also found out I couldn't actually ask him

those questions and so I found the answers on my own right this was pre- interet so we're talking art

books and things of that nature and then the internet hit and pretty soon I discovered that you know when I was fig

out how to socially interact with the women and then after a while that became the sort of go to escape 18 years go by

and that had been my Escape it was it was early on on in that process that I

figured out that that was what all the people in church were preaching about when they said that that was like a sin that that was bad right so early on I

developed the sense that I was going to hell that I was not going to heaven at all that I had already messed everything

up and that there was really no way to come back and um not that that's what they meant by that but that's how I took

it as a kid and so this buildup of Shame and guilt and then I find out oh it's

there's a bunch of people that have this it's called an addiction and so I go to these 12 step meetings and I do all the other stuff and um I learned some stuff

I I'm was comforted I found some you know friendships here and there but nothing was changing nobody in the room

was really getting over it and it became this disease that I was going to be with for life and then and then one day you

know my wife confronts me about she like she was aware but at this point she wanted to know like what how far has

this gone so I started to reveal to her like yeah I went to chat room I didn't pay I tell her I didn't pay I

promise because I I didn't want she's like why didn't you pay I'm like well I didn't want the money to be traced back

to me like which was honest I didn't want to be caught in it but that it wasn't like I didn't pay because I

wanted to be faithful it was didn't pay because I want to be caught and so she just she was like I think I'm gonna

leave like I don't think I'm I'm in for this anymore she'd already been planning and it's like do we leave in the middle

of the night do we leave when he's at work do and so then I was confronted with here I am

struggling desperately wanting to not be controlled by this but not knowing a way

out already going through all these bipolar mood swings and these depressive Cycles suicidal at times like walking

the streets at night hoping to be hit by a bus you know just wishing for because

I didn't want to kill myself and leave my family with that and so I stuck around because I didn't want to cause

them pain but in the middle of that that meant I was causing them more pain and myself more pain and so I she just said

I'm going to leave and that night I was like I have to fix something so I just started doing what most people do just control it hang in there and that worked

for a couple months and then things started getting you know stressed out and I was I can't do this anymore she

left for school one day to pick up the kids I was running a marshal arts school and so that she leaves I see her out the

window and my whole system does what every person who's struggling with an addiction does like now's your chance

you know the used carsman salesman in the head is like now's your chance act now while no one's watching you know

right yeah yeah my hands are shaking my heartbeat is going wild I got this cold

chemical flush through my system I'm rooted to the spot and then I have this weird out-of- body

experience that is a vision of myself as a 90-year-old still stuck in that spot

still having the fight and I was like oh I can't do this anymore like I don't want to die at this moment but I don't

want to live that life and so I have to figure figure this out so I threw out everything thing that I had learned that

wasn't working yeah and I just became the guinea pig for my own life I was like let me go back to my roots let me

let me start questioning what do I mean when I say I'm depressed what do I mean when I say I'm anxious what do I mean

when I say I have an addiction how do I know that right and I started looking at these physiological components of it and

I started tweaking those and working with those and then in very short order I started seeing the urges going away

the behavior I didn't need as many coping behaviors my mind was freed from this stuff I learned how to delete that

stuff in my mind and so that even the drugs that I got into like that became less of an urch

because there wasn't anything to cope with anymore right wow that's amazing so you said that your background or at the

time you were working in Marshall art so you had some of that background what exactly were you drawing on what did you

do in order to help to get yourself to this place of Freedom yeah so I had

already in that period of time been I think like most people who are in there I've been chasing every savior on the

planet so every ad that I saw of somebody who had an answer and so I and there were things that felt interesting

to me and things that I could sort of hide behind so that it it wasn't me coming out to everyone as the Pervert

next door you know and so it was like I chased like Wim Hoff's breath work for a bit and and I trained with him and his

stuff and I and I had been training already in like this years like decades in all for various different types of

meditation and Kung Fu and taiichi and so physical work was not an issue and

and so it was like I trained for four years in in Zen mindfulness and with a teacher there and I and I learned

various forms of bodyw work like biodynamic cranos cotherapy I trained for four years in that wrote a book on that the became like a textbook for some

of the people and and ended up um using that to a certain extent so I was

developing my ability to feel inside of my body the whole time yeah and that was

where I started I was I because I couldn't the idea of a disease like I

don't I don't I I have no recourse and so I was like what is an average bloke who went through bankruptcy and has no

money in his bank account and doesn't have access to research funds and grants and millions of dollars to just test all

this stuff in a lab what does that average bloke have that that can help him walk away

from this and the courage that I took was was the Jes like I was sitting in the 12 step program and I know that

maybe some people aren't um you know Christians or whatnot but I was sitting in these fep programs and they were talking about how we were going to be

this way for life and how higher power this that and the other and I was like when I read this story about Jesus

catching the woman in adultery he didn't say I want you back here for a meeting every week right yeah and he did you

know you know it wasn't like well you're gonna be struggling with this forever it was like H you're good go s yeah so

everybody who is preaching the sort of healing I was like what kind of beta version of Jesus are we running like I

want the not the trial version you know yes exactly so I was like well if it can

happen that fast what has to happen yep and so I was paying attention and

challenging the questions uh like what is addiction is it actually a disease

other than saying disease but I was like well if it's disease yeah where am I at ill at ease yeah yeah I started noticing

tension patterns build up I started noticing like well if my breathing's different that's why I went to the Wim Hoff stuff

and I started tweaking these physical things that I could do breathing movement relaxation posture all that

stuff and then I also had the thought in my head that's like well what went in has to come out kind of like throwing up sure and so I started uh just writing

yeah well I was an artist actually so um and like uh spent a lot of training in

the Fine Arts I got a master's degree in Fine Arts and I was like okay well I have all this porn inside I better get it out that was a horrible idea I ended

up I was making really good really good pornography um it lasted for like 30 40

minutes and I was like I can't do this anymore I went in the backyard and burned it all my wife wisely was like

that's not a good idea I was like I know but I gotta go on something you know right you just had to try it and so um

so then I went in I was like what is it and and it's the the idea that came was like make a list so I was like of what

no answer okay cool I'll just make a list and I just made a list it ended up being people um groups of people uh a

whole like was 92 different names of people groups of

people people who I didn't remember like that kid from elementary school that I pushed down whose name I don't know you know the IRS made the list um you know

and my grandpa who had died and I hadn't been able to say goodbye it was like a whole bunch of people that it didn't

make sense to me and I was like okay cool well I'll just write them all and I started getting rid of all of these

emotional things some of them were positive yeah yeah yeah some of them were positive some of them were like my

grandpa was I didn't hate him I just hadn't gotten to say goodbye before he died right yeah

right um some of them were porn related like porn stars or the makers of YouTube you know how dare you create a platform

that allows this to happen you know and so all of this frustration and in the middle of writing that I had like I was

all the emotions were coming up then the next thought was well let me cuz I was

making it something physical that I could work with right I was taking this I'm stuck into well this is the thing

I'm stuck with on paper Chanel making it physical it was only years later that I came to learn that physical feedback is

is the key um that talking through things is not useful unless you've

anchored it in some sort of physical experience yeah so after that I was like I have to read

by the way in order to write this I I was terrified so I turned on like really nice music that would keep me going out

like in in case I started to go down a hole like I could just listen to the music it would bring up I think I prayed for every guardian angel on the planet

to to be present while I was there and um and

then I read it out loud and as I was reading it out loud it was the first time in my life

that a level of compassion for myself showed up because now I was like third person I was reading somebody else words

almost yep and I started to see these trends of thought processes that were

running in my mind um beliefs about myself that I didn't realize I carried

and it was underneath all the blame it was under underneath all the sadness and the reaction yes and and I was like wow

that's I felt bad for that guy like he's been carrying that his whole life right

and and so then I burned those and then I was like but that's you

know just write a letter to myself about that and then so I wrote out all that stuff and and I spent two and a half

hours in a park just everything I could think of that I had against myself and I wrote it all out and then I did the same

thing I read it and I burned it and then I was like but that's not the whole truth is it so then I wrote everything

that I missed you know all the awards I'd earned all the skills I'd learned all

the The Desires in my heart to be amazing like and I held that in the mirror and I looked at myself in the

mirror and I was like look this is also true about me like absolutely I can't I can't just that it's a lie for me to say

because I did this thing that's who I am sure when I've done all these other things right so that was the beginning

of me trying to find a way to get down to the root of the problem and it was a

you know like that was amazing I spent a couple uh weeks just on cloud n like no problems

at all and months likely I didn't know what to say at the 12 meetings I was like hi Bob I'm not an addict anymore

sorry you know yeah they didn't appreciate that because you're supposed to be an addict for life but um and and

like I did a couple of other things here and there and I started working deeply with the body and my senses like from

that point on so I cleared out all this Gunk but I realized I needed to retrain my body

itself um to get the memo down into the Flesh and not just in the headp you know and so most of what I worked with was

like movement and breathing just all this martial arts stuff I was like I got to live a good life yeah and like as if

I'm happy I'm happy and then I'm not going to these things so yeah how can I live happier and how can I train my body

to be happy on autopilot instead of like no no I have to do all this hard work and so I let it slip for like four years

I didn't do any anything I just kept training that and then somebody else needed some help and I had a business

coach like dude stop teaching kungu there's there's a dime a dozen of those like there's a lot of people struggling

with horn addiction with sex addiction with with depression with anxiety and like nobody really has an answer even

the psych psychology industry is indicated like this is going to be here for Life yeah right and and so I was I

started helping people with porn and sex addiction at first and then that's snowballed and we had women with like

rape victims and a lot of sexual abuse and Body Image issues and guys who are struggling with various different types

of addictions and anger issues I just got a guy a note from a guy we had a

retreat last week and um he he's like hey I don't have anxiety anymore and now

I'm actually attracted to my wife for the first time in a long time and we had just breathed and moved and worked with

his body and helped open up his tissues and really challenged like it wasn't rocket science yeah yeah yeah and uh so

I told him yeah well just keep helping your body feel better you'll watch that grow really well so it was amazing yeah

I love this so it's it's so interesting to me how the holy spirit will take each individual person through their own path

that ultimate is similar like there's similarities for absolutely everybody but he's taking what you already knew

and helping you to apply that so that you could obtain freedom but you had to first get rid of all the junk like in

naturopathic medicine our main uh like the philosophy is you identify and you remove the obstacles to cure you give

the body building blocks it needs to heal itself and then you stimulate Your vitality so that your body can do what

it needs to do if it's been suppressed for a long time it's not going to be able to it's exactly what you did on a

psychological level that's fabulous yeah so so what how do you tweak the breath

work and the movement for somebody who has trauma or somebody who has addiction or somebody who has anxiety is there

like no formula in it depends on the person or is there a pattern that's specific to each issue or

what hang on just a sec

there is there are General patterns okay um in the beginning I tried to map this

out on the body remember like I spent years as a registered cranos sacral therapist you know working in very much

the way you described you know and um I tried to map it because people had

told me oh yeah anger resides here you know you look at the ayurvedic medicine or you look at the Chinese medicine you're like okay these are where these

emotions are housed right but as I challenge those in people in the beginning like I would put pressure on

people in those areas or we would do some some sort of percussion on it to see what came up and everybody was a

little bit different and so these Maps became not useful most of the time other

than like well I have this info in case it's useful sometime sure yeah that makes sense so what I boiled it down to

was the thing that that is easy enough to recognize is that tension in the body

creates uh some sort of problem in circulation in lym lymphatic flow in and

and it also tends to grab whatever chemistry is in there and hold it yep yep so in a traumatic experience you

have all of this emotion and all of this chemistry flowing and your tense because you are not sitting there like a rag

doll um unless you've disassociated like in a rape or something like that right and so that tension holds and like

squeezes that chemistry into the muscle and then because there's not really any

evidence that that might not happen again that muscle doesn't really un unload itself sure yeah when it does

every little bit that it relaxes a little bit of that chemistry floods the bloodstream and the person feels like

it's happening all over again they get quote unquote triggered yeah and so they tense again because they don't want that to happen yeah and so when it comes to

the the tissue deep tissue work it is a matter of helping unload that whole

thing while understanding that all those emotions will come to the surface but they're only coming to the surface to get out get out they're not coming to

the surface because you're being r- traumatized right right right U which you would know well experience right

okay right and so that was the that was the easiest thing to recognize to develop the ability to notice at more

precise levels where is tension being held in the body and as we release that

tension it starts to open up and then they have these emotions or these thoughts or memories will come up and

then they'll leave right and they don't mean anything that's the next problem that people have they what does it mean

if I had this it doesn't mean anything other than you had that experience just purging it yeah yeah and if we if we

grab onto it then what we've created is more tension around having that kind of experience that's after yes interesting

and and so I tell them meaning is a mean thing to do yeah um and so the tension piece is

one of just where are you holding tension and that could be you had an injury in someplace and so when you had

this traumatic experience the injury got more tense and so that might be where it's stored and that might be in your knee and not in your liver even though

liver is associated with anger in a lot of time right sure yeah um I had a guy for instance I I was just trying to

explain this and I grabbed his bicep with my thumb yeah and I could see his face like like the expression on his

face sort of like wiggle like a little concerned and I was like oh I guess we're gonna stay here for a bit and so

I'm describing what's going on and he's sitting there and kind of giving himself the internal pep talk for a second like

okay yeah I got this and I was like narrating this oh he's look he's giving himself a pi he's like no no I got it

I'm I'm and then he stopped and then he just started falling for like five minutes right and I'm just holding his

bicep like not not lightly you know I'm putting pressure on the on the bicep

yeah and then as he's sitting there like all this emotion comes I didn't ask him anything about it you don't have to talk

about it yes that is the beautiful thing like talking about it is sometimes useful right but most of the stuff we

struggle with is nonverbal it like was an emotion or a feeling or a sensation or something and

to have to stop and put a word to it for it to go by is like having traffic cones

on the freeway like oh now we got everybody slow by and one by one go through the checkpoint instead just let the traffic flow let it out I didn't ask

him about it yeah he just lets it out and then he kind of comes back up you know I'd hit it a couple times to work things through wiggled it a little bit

and then helped him relax his arm yeah and then afterwards I was like Hey anything come up like anything you want to share and he's like no I just I had

this girlfriend when I was 15 and she was really manipulative 15 or

16 she was really manipulative and like it was a really rough relationship and I haven't thought about her in years and I

don't know where that came from but it was a really rough time in my life and I I said what does it have to do with your

bicep yeah he goes I have no idea I mean I guess I started lifting weights a lot

at that point in time ah interesting so it's like normal exercise normal tension

can be the place where it's not like girlfriends are stored in your bicep guys right it's just like that that's

what the brain what is not in touch with the outside world Associates with everything coming through that

experience right so your brain's just guessing and it's like well that tension there oh I remember when that happened

before it's the girlfriend thing and and it makes alls yeah yeah is it true would

you say like I I I hear what you're saying as far as like don't stop and you know stop the traffic let it get out and

I think in many cases that's where my personal opinion that talk therapy kind of goes sideways because it's almost

like ret traumatizing people because you're gonna you know go over and over and over things at the same time

occasionally you said that sometimes it is useful and I'm assuming part of the the reason why it's useful in the Circ

IR ances when it is is if the emotion that is getting released has to do with

a worldview that needs to be reprogrammed like if you're believing a lie that has to get recognized and

turned around so that you don't end up in the same place again is that accurate would you say yeah from my experience

it's the talking about it helps them get down to the that belief yes that they have or the world that they have and

that one spans across a lot of of events and not just the one not just the right

so if I'm if someone's having an experience with that right um and they're bringing up like he didn't

really need to say anything like that was that was the case except that he was there on a longer retreat and so we were able to talk about some other stuff that

was going on with him right but you know often well some a lot a lot of the common lies that people believe are

they're worthless they're unlovable they're they're not good enough they'll never be good enough they're a disappointment they're broken uh nobody

likes them you know whatever version of that is and the event seems to be the

evidence for it yes yes and so it's not the yeah so it's not the event itself

it's what necessarily but yeah it's what it means and then talking about it helps me break down the event and in such a

way that they look at the event and they realize that's not actually evidence of that at all exactly yes that makes sense

so like like I had a guy um whose mom Lee his mom had abused him from the time

he was like 2 three years old until she kicked him out of the house at 16 uh she abusing physically mentally emotionally

sexually you name it like she had multiple guys in the house all the time he didn't know his father she used to

quote scripture at him while abusing him as a way of getting him like honor your mother you like really twisted right and

so so at one point in time she used to always tell him like that he was horrible person or whatnot to try and

manipulate him into into doing certain things yeah and and at one point in time we were talking about one of these instances and I and so I got the details

of it and then Then I then I just asked him the question like what evidence do you have that your mom was a great judge of character mhm and like that broke

something in him because he was this these events were evidence that he's a horrible

person because of the authority figure in those events said so yes right and so then we look at all the people that she

had in her life and all the things that got messed up around it and all the things that she did and it just he was like oh right that's like the the little

the Kingpin or that that Cornerstone piece of belief that actually holds everything else up inter so those are

the instances where the story is useful but I'll be honest like in the beginning I was listening to everybody's story

right because I thought that's how you needed to get through it and then I taught them how to get down to these

core beliefs yeah but I was then having to process their story I was then like I got to get off the phone I didn't know

that was possible I got to go on a long walk honey and then I just walk the neighborhoods and try and like get that stuff out of my head and I was like

there has to be a faster way and a more efficient way than having people tell

their stories because and I have to deal with it they don't actually want to tell it again exactly so what is that right

right I what I realized as I kept going down the rabbit hole is that the story

lives let's say here like right in the middle right if we're talking about up on the top is the the symptoms you know

the behaviors the emotions whatever else it is and the events that the memories are below that and then the the big

belief the worldview is there before that worldview came a whole lot of

different Cascade change of tensions and emotions and and nerve firings and all that other stuff further down that was

the body's initial reaction to its environment interesting okay and if I could retrain that and I mean I was

training with spies you know like the you know we had Vladimir one time was just like okay um you know I

got this there was this time that I was fighting with this Russian German I mean this German spy he's Russian you know

and and he's like he got behind me with a rope and he choked me out everybody in the room's like what oh okay like that's the point of

the story he's like no you don't understand while I was unconscious I broke his arm and I escaped and we're like wait what why you're unconscious

it's not unconscious it's other conscious and if you can train that other conscious to respond to the world

without trauma without pain without anxiety without frustration then your body never has the signal

anymore for your brain to bring up all the trauma you just don't have to deal with it that's where I started heading

was like let's just train the body's natural response to its environment to be a response that feels wonderful that

feels functional that feels amazing and then all those memories don't even have to be looked at so what you mean is that

so going back to what you said about autopilot the idea of that's what he when he was unconscious obviously that's

impossible but he was so it was subconscious I suppose and that's where

he his training just kicked in and he was able to do what he needed to do okay so that was one of the things that really intrigued me about your bio is

you said that you learned some of your techniques from Russian spies is that what you meant yeah yeah many many many

things from these these I still train with them they still keep blowing my mind but yeah okay so um let's pause for

a second and go there tell me more about this experience working with spies and what else you've learned from them so

the the Russian system of I mean you got to think about this like if you're in Siberia say 500 years ago

yeah there's not millions of people um so every person in the tribe or the group is is essential right and they

have to deal with hunting for food and making weaponry and taking care of the horses and fishing and and injuries and

so every person is sort of essential and in the middle of that they're like the Mongolians are running the show and

they're sweeping through camp in Mass hordes of horses and stealing people and telling and selling them at the Persian

Markets and the Russian tribes up north are running through camp and trying to

like conquer the area for a for a greater unified nation and you have the Persians down south that are invading

for trade and whatnot and so you're constantly having to deal with the weather and the environment like the

winter snows and everything and like starvation or lack of food and injury and whatnot and what they developed was

not everywhere right there were still obviously people that would go on raiding parties and and rape and pillage and all that other stuff but in certain

little pockets these this way of training that uh K kasac the word kak

comes from kazak kazak right and that that means like a masterless person a masterless Horseman originally but like

one who isn't Mastered by anything not by wind and rain and snow and injury and

pain and even death like they're not Mastered by it they're like in charge of their person so their way of

training was a way of of helping a person have a such a strong psyche or such a strong spirit that it didn't

matter what was happening on the outside they were like you know stable right you

know yeah and some of them took it to such a spiritual level I mean it got sort of absorbed into the Orthodox

tradition build your house up on a rock right yeah yeah and so that all of the

training there's no forms there's not anything that you would see normal martial arts you I mean we're swinging chains at each other or fighting in the

water or like pulling knives and like running through the woods and using sticks and improvised weaponry and and

uh you know blindfolded just all kinds of stuff and I had done a number of those things in kung fu circles but

those were all like for show so I could already move in some of these ways but the Russian form of training for me was

like oh you're afraid let's confront that and you're G to stand there and I'm going to hit you and you're not going to

block and you're not gonna and and you're going to look at how this man how fear manifests in your body right and

you're going to get rid of it and so it was like I'm gonna take you through pain

and you're gonna take me through pain because we're the only people who can prepare each other for a world that might be worse and if I take you through

something that's worse than anything you'll feel out there then I have prepared you for life it's like this

sort of Brotherhood yeah you know this camaraderie that's built with like it's

it's time to stop codling each other right and prepare each other for life so

a lot of this was like learning how to get hit and take a hit and deep tissue work um using sticks and whips and

chains and stuff to where you're learning to breathe and move and relax in a way that if something does happen

it starts to go away and then somewhere in there I started to see that pain is produced in the mind now all the

Research indicates this yep that's why you can like blunt a nerve and the body doesn't feel pain it's because pain is a

is a production of the Mind sure right not it's not in the tissue and I started

to realize that I didn't have to experience these things as pain I could experience them first neutral and then

sometimes even with with pleasantness like it felt wonderful to be doesn't feel like a tickle or anything really

yeah no it's like imagine being a drum and just having this thing go boom like this life just run through your system

all at once right and like that's kind of how it felt like and on top of all of

the subtle meditative movement stuff that i' learned learned from my years in kung fu where I was building these waves

of pleasantness through my body anyway like now I could do this with a walk

when I'm walking when I'm stepping and stuff and so part of the training that I developed because they they don't really

that training doesn't really confront the stuff that I was working with it wasn't like we understand that emotions are there but just keep training this

way and they'll go away which is true yeah sure but it's very combatively oriented and and the emotional and

mental wellbeing is sort of like a byproduct and I was like no these these people have problems we need to focus the training on what it is they're doing

so I started pulling in from yoga and from Kung Fu and all these different things and stripping out the cultural stuff and going like physiologically

what's what are we doing and how do we stimulate the body to produce its own painkillers how do we stimulate the body

to produce uh its own bdnf for instance so that you can start to change neural

Pathways much more quickly how do we stimulate the body to let go of tensions and all of that became stuff I grabbed

from them and these other Traditions to to do what it is that I do now to put it all together interesting so as far as

like so the body work and the breath work and all of that back to the idea of how you apply this in the given

individual in front of you where do you start in order to figure out where to zoom in so the first thing there's

really only basically two but kind of three variables that you're working with right the two main variable the third one is

like a byproduct of the other one so so ease in the body and Clarity of Mind

those are the two things that we work with right okay the more at ease the body is it doesn't even matter how you

get there this is the beautiful part this is what anybody at home can like start to understand the the more at ease

your body is the less triggerable you become of course yeah that makes perfect sense okay right so the happier your

body feels right you just don't have to deal with triggers there's no coping Behavior necessary right right and then

Clarity of mind has to do with being able to discern the difference between

your five senses and what you've made of those five senses all the belief and the meaning and everything else yeah when

they're present just there looking at what's in front of them all the other stuff starts to go

away and their brain rewires itself pretty quickly so okay uh it's like

um uh let me like if you've ever lost your keys and they're like in your purse

or something and you've looked through it a bunch of different times and you can't find them you don't see them so

you're walking around the house you're breathing changes you're starting to stomp around you're feeling everything that people label as frustration it's

not frustration it is breathing changes and tension and movement jerky movement and stuff and you start to talk to

people like you you I know you guys had it last you start accusing everybody and then you reach through and you realize

it had slid underneath the little pouch or something and you find them immediately in that Moment of clarity

all the frustration goes away yes the tension goes away the breathing Changes Everything Changes because you saw the

truth yeah the truth set you free yeah and you did instead of the lie that you had told interesting okay so um it

sounds almost like if you are able to separate those things like you don't even necessarily have to put words to it

or do you if you're if you're okay so if this is kind of just the idea behind all

meditation where you become fully present in the moment and you recognize that your mind can be a manager

observing what's going on as opposed to in the moment and intertwined with it is

it essentially that concept yeah yeah um so let me finish answering your other question how do I start with people I

start with giving them uh like the first program I have them work with is choose your own emotion that's the name of the

program awesome yeah and it the first week is this is a basic routine to do

when you wake up in the morning here's an audio use it as your alarm yeah this is a basic routine to do at night so the

aim is wake up without in in such a way that you put your body into a state that

is not just oh I'm awake I'm ready but is calm energized feels alive so that

you primed your system to not be triggerable for the next little while yeah and then at night let's get you

going into sleep better so because if you sleep better you're gonna wake up better and then you're G to do that routine the whole thing so that's the

first thing I do and it's pretty much the same for everyone as a starting point and then at depending on what

seems to work best we start to just from there okay okay then I teach them all right now let's identify what's

happening in the moment if you're triggered or you're emotional or whatever what's actually happening I and

I teach them emotional Ninjutsu what's happening and where in

your body do you feel it right I everybody listening guaranteed your fingernails are not emotional uhuh right

guaranteed the reason that it's so dumb but like your knee pits your butt cheeks you know these are things that like when

you check I had a lady in the middle of a panic attack and I was like okay where are you feeling it are your butt cheeks

panicked and she just burst out laughing no but the Panic disappeared

because she got clear on the thing I'm feeling isn't everywhere right yeah yeah

and that is powerful so where is it then now that you know where it is breathe

loosen Escape breathe different it doesn't matter if it's faster slower or louder anything breathe different loosen

the area relax it and Escape get into a posture that doesn't allow that thing to land on you anymore so I teach him that

and then the third thing I do is okay now let's go through the things that you're afraid of that aren't actually happening when a thought comes here is a

simple and I teach them a basic visualization or how to start to like get rid of the emotional reaction to

those thoughts so that's the that's three weeks yeah and not everybody's great at visualizing so there's a bunch

of different ways to do it you know yeah yeah um but like that's that's where I start with people and then because then

once they have a baseline of like what is and isn't working then we can adjust from there but if they never start if

they're like well no I have to find the right one for me before I start it doesn't work because how are we gonna know what the right one is you you need

the physical experience in order to know in order to figure that out so you said that there's three components one is a

byproduct of the other two what's the byproduct is the amount of time you're spent I I put this out as an algorithm

to determine a person's happiness quotient oh okay um instead of your IQ your EQ is your HQ you know and um and

it's a function of the amount of clarity of mind you have times the amount of physical ease you had divided by the

amount of time you spent in limiting beliefs and reactions and so you know that way in a

given day if you ask yourself okay well what percent of my body feels Pleasant what percent feels a

little unpleasant or uncomfortable cool now we have a sense of what that component is right you know how aware am

I of my environment right now versus fixated on some thought processes and that's a percentage and then like cool

what percent of my experience right is is being grabed by reactions to things

sure or these ruminating thoughts and if it's like yeah it's 90% most people it's

really up there you know all day long you're thinking about things if you've ever driven home and forgot and not realiz like gotten there and been like

did I run it right yeah sure well then you've spent time in that space yeah and so

that's the divider and with those then then you have a sense of okay cool um

now I know what to work on do I need to attach like grab and go challenge some limiting beliefs do I need to just focus

on this moment and working on my presence and my clarity or do I is my body uncomfortable and I need to go do some physical exercise so it's a simple

way of of pinpointing what is the issue rather than just being like well unhappy

right and now what yeah exactly interesting so for most people is the

amount of time it takes to get from Maximum tension for them to maximum

Clarity and relaxation kind of similar to how long it takes to create a habit like 21 to 90 days or how like what's

what's the typical amount of time it takes for somebody to learn how to achieve this and maintain it on a regular basis yeah so we run that's a

great question we we run these Retreats five days long they're five days and in those five days I I have them morning

toight yeah we're we're using like we're controlling their nutrition we're control you know their sleep times and

and we're running them through in the morning like really simple things showing them how to use their voice and posture and whatnot to produce these

incredible wavs of well-being we're training movement we're doing breath work we're doing deep tissue work we're

challenging thought processes we're doing all this for and in the end like Lee came everything he had against his

mom all that years trauma that he'd spent 30 plus years talking to therapist around

gone gone so yeah the people leave those

and they just have this like honeymoon period so to speak because they're coasting we've done so much to put their

body into a new state right and then to maintain that

right that's where the thing goes and I would my hunch is I don't have any like hard data on it but my hunch is that is

that it operates anywhere from 20 21 to 48 days where you run into this like how

long does it take for my system to learn this thing yeah um for me it's a constant exploration like I don't I I

never measured it because in my mind I was like wow um I feel better now oh what else do I need to work on like it

was like I never stopped to be like oh I made it yeah nobody arrives the sight of Heaven that way yeah got it yeah well no

in my mind I'm like no I feel Heavenly right the the highest Heaven I know that's my measurement for the day and like am well if not what do I need to

adjust and then one day something Falls away and I discover wow there's a whole another layer of this heavenly

experience cool and that becomes my new metric and so what's what I tell people

is I'm like look if you have to willpower your way or count the number of days since the last time you're still bound to the thing's wrong yeah um if

you're in the arena with it fighting it doesn't matter if you're winning or losing you still smelling the body odor and you're still like you know sure quit

the fight right or fit the the match go outside and have a picnic at a park across town and enjoy your life right I

tell them what entertains you trains you if you if the amount of entertainment that you are doing is a lifelong career

of trying to heal yourself if you're constantly focusing on the thing you're just training yourself to constantly focus on the thing and eventually you

have to heal from your healing process yeah that totally makes sense and so I my focus is like let's focus on building

something that feels so amazing in you that you wouldn't want to stop it that

you just like wow this feels great let me keep doing this absolutely yeah and

then all of a sudden like yeah 21 48 days or in the guy's case that just texted me you know it's five days later

right you start to see things happen and what happens is like you just in retrospect you look back and you're like

wow I handled that different than I usually do uh and I didn't have to work willpower my way to do it it was like it

just sort of happened on its own right cool right awesome it's on autopilot as

you said yeah sense so uh what have I not asked you that you want to make sure

you leave with our audience um okay so a lot of people struggle with this notion

that there's something about them that they have to fix that there's something wrong with them yeah and and if they're if they're trying to learn about

addiction or anxiety or depression or bipolar or OCD or they're going down the rabbit hole because the feeling of those

diagnoses is that there's something that they have to fix yeah I would submit to you that there has there's not anything

wrong with you that the fact that you can feel those things means that

everything is firing on all cylinders you have learned a way to automatically

respond to life that you have a 100% success rate you have survived everything that has ever happened to you

right yeah so there's nothing wrong with you and if you can learn to do that on

autopilot you can learn to do something else on autopilot it's just changing the dojo that you attend yes that makes

sense that makes sense and so I everybody the reason I wrote my book and one of the main things I wanted people

to get out of it is they wanted to close the back cover and be like wow maybe there isn't anything wrong with me I

might have some work ahead but maybe I don't have to sit here and believe that I have something to fix that I have

something to validate uh you know because when you're not a parking ticket you don't need to be validated because that just gives you

permission to stay put you know to stay parked there yeah absolutely and so the

like you don't need to be validated in your emotion nobody wants to be validated in how they feel really they want to be done with that negative

exactly exactly and so instead of seeking that like just recognize you're there's AR there's nothing to fix about you the only question is what is

happening in this moment and that boils down to what am I literally physically feeling right how am I breathing and

whatnot and then the next question is cool where do I want to go from here you don't have to psychoanalyze it you don't

have to sit there and dig in you have to you know therapists are helpful I'm not saying that they're not but move like

there's nothing wrong with you it's just what cool what do I do I need some help to get out of this rut or can I do it on my own that's it yeah and so for people

who are like okay cool what's my next step who are listening to all of this um what would you recommend should people

check out like you just the the book at first or should they go to your website

should they what what where do people go to learn more about you so at my website the freedoms specialist.com there the in

the front um there's links to all kinds of stuff start with the book okay and

the the course that I that that that is companion to that book The the things I introduce in the book and the guide book

that comes with it the course that goes with it is the choose your own emotion course if you were to get those together

that would give you not just a full like expansive really fun ride to read like

plane crashes and odd science and you know all over the place you know

um but also a step-by-step process of starting to change the way you feel within a few days from now yeah you the

you should start to realize wait a second I did like I can actually control how I feel like there's some things that

I can do and even if it's a small amount there's something like within just a few days time yeah but start there and then

we also have like a longer program online and these Retreats are incredible especially if you're struggling with some big things like past traumas and

stuff you know I I can't say enough about them they all the stuff that is hard to confront on your own to be there

in a group of people and to to like have a team of people helping youin you can

set it down yeah awesome sounds great well thank you so much Bob this has been really really insightful I really

appreciate it well good it was it was a great conversation Lauren

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